Slim Sellout (4/3/01) When you hate pop culture and everything affiliated with it, what do you do? Make a toy line, of course.

Ramumbini (3/26/01) (An article for Terpidiots) The genetic freak of nature that will bring Armageddon on all of us, unless it is stopped quickly and swiftly.

Golden Dollar Tribute (3/15/01) A tribute to the chick on the Golden Dollar. Remember that stupid thing? Whoever thought that up should be shipped back to Canada where they belong.

Genome: (3/15/01) Everything you wanted to know about the Human Genome Project, some you didn't want to know, and how it can happen in your neighborhood.

E-Kachu: (02/25/01) Pokemon: Helping a whole new generation of kids trip, just like ours did.

Crap TV II: (02/14/01) Where are those chimps already?

re2k: (01/25/01) A rerun of the first year of the new millenium... or the last year of the old millenium... whichever you prefer.

Election 2000: The Never Ending Story: (12/20/01)Well, I guess it ended eventually, since one of these clowns ended up in office.

Crap TV: (11/15/2k) Who writes the stuff that comes on TV these days? Whoever it is, they need to get rid of them and get back the screaming chimps to fill their jobs.

Retarded Feminists: (10/25/2k) Respect this vagina! The Diamondback provides hard facts for the study that feminists were once kids that sneaked off the short bus.

The Secret of Monkee Island: (6/26/2k) In light of the crappy manufactured boy-bands of today, we hearken back to the premiere manufactured band of the 60's: The Monkees.

Making the Bland (or MTTV): (6/26/2k) Remember that damn show MTV produced for ABC, "Making the Band?" Yeah, if I hadn't written this last spring, I probably wouldn't, either. A blurb on MTV's amusingly stupid attempt to assimilate its crap into network TV.

thefluff.com: (6/14/2k) A page or two of asking no one in particular: Why does thetruth.com exist?!

The Columns: (5/31/2k) Behold as I cope with rejection from my prestigious university's newspaper.